Can't force it

I'm sure this will probably be "all over the place" but just random thoughts on the topic of "can't force it" aka, you can't make someone want something that you don't. This goes with relationships between spouses, siblings, friends, ect.

If you don't already know, I come from a "mixed family" if that's the correct terminology. My Mom was married previously and had my 2 brothers and my Dad was married previously and had my 2 sisters, they got married and when  my Mom was 40 she got pregnant with me. I am 20 years younger than my oldest sibling and the sibling that is closest in age with me is 10 years older. I was a suprise to say the least. Growing up was sort of an only child situation, my sister who is 10 yrs older than me was there for most of my life, and then she married and moved off. I'm sure it was a better situation for me to be the "only kid" at home vs when Mom & Dad had 4 mouths to feed at home. I lacked that "bonding" situation that most siblings get. However, I don't really know if any of my siblings are close to each other. We're all so different, and busy, and live so far from each other and have our own lives. Maybe we should make more of an attempt but that goes with the above reasonings for it not being there. I'm guilty...very...of not calling/emailing/visiting my siblings enough. Life happens I guess.

That being said, Travis is one of 2 children. Him and his brother are 3 years apart and grew up together being country boys! They weren't what I'd call "super close" when Travis & I met in 2005, but we would often do things with him and as a family with his parents because they both still lived at home. As they've grown up, they've seemed to have grown apart. I blame myself for this, honestly.

Here's why...growing up, you have different relationships. And I got close to a couple of his brother's previous girlfriends and I guess that's a mistake. Well, it's not a mistake, because if you want to have a GOOD relationship with all family it's good to make an effort to get to know each others significant others. It's bad when, for whatever reason, a breakup happens and you continue to have a 'friendship' with the ex's. It's only trouble, for many reasons obviously and I guess I'm just now realizing that. I like this quote... and I'm not sure if it's out there or not but I'm making it a quote! "An ex is an ex and family is forever". 

So with that said, I deleted a few people off facebook and out of my life. It's not worth it. It just makes stress and irritation on my behalf.  I feel relieved to not worry about getting an email with information that most family doesn't even know yet, and then being so shocked you don't know what to do.

I hope, I really hope, and pray, that someday that relationship can be mended and I can get to know my soon to be sister in law. I hate drama. I really do. Life is too short (and we're reminded everyday with the field that we're in) to keep animosities going.

Just like I have my sister that I am 10 years apart from, but I haven't seen or heard from her since a month after we got married. I'm not sure why, and maybe I should make an attempt at mending that relationship.

But ultimately, there's only so many times in any situation that you make attempts to recognize birthdays, have holidays together, initiate conversations, and mend relationships overall before one just gives up, moves on, and lives their life.

We have SO many positive things going for us right now, we can't be pulled down by negativity...therefore, by deleting the ex's of the family out of my life it'll make things overall better for us...no matter what happens with the relationship of the two siblings, you just can't force something that's not wanted by everyone.

-Tara